A couple of weeks ago, I was looking a head at my future. Questioning the path that I was on. Was it one that would motivate me to keep, my dreams alive. Or would my dreams slowly fade away because I would just believe that I am not able to do it.
Three weeks ago I started a new job after being at my old job for about 4.5 years it was head to leave my comfortablity. I knew though inside that my dream of working with students needed some more experience. I needed to prove to myself that I could have the energy to be with kids for a fullday.
the first day I tired to work and then go to the gym did not happen as planned. I was so mentally tired that I got home by 4pm and slept and slept and slept and slept until 5:00 am the next morning and did the rountinue again. Friday, could not come fast enough!! I was exhusted but yet a renewed energy kept me going strong everyday. Was it the acknowledgement that by allowing myself to eat right and sleep I was able to keep going.
After the first week I was motivated and edgar to see what would happen next. I had a day of fear and anixety when asked to come to talk to the director, my fear were all over myface when she told me it was just to give me some general heads up...I felt relieved. I realized that day though that my mountain was still needing to be climbed. I had gotten over hills of past anxiety but not enough to be at the highest peak in the valley of life.
Darkness that night fell over me as I tired to consentrate to do school work, I began thinking maybe I am not good enough to do it. Maybe I am just trying to get my name in the lights and paper saying look at me..."you tired to stop me and I am still standing"
read tomorrow to find out about the rest of the climb....
